Feb Wrap Up
March is finally here oh my god. February felt like 3000 years for some reason (in both a good and bad way) so there might be a lot to reflect and update on. I have 1 million and 1 more important and urgent things to do right now than this blog post but I've been looking forward to doing this so I am using my limited strength to overcome my exhaustion and horrible mental state to do this.
Start!
Started off February (literally) with the finals for my Netball competition. We got second and I am proud of us for how strong we pushed through and worked together. My co-captain and I also had a lovely bonding dinner after and she's one of the sweetest people ever!! I really love talking to her. She also gave me this really good reflection prompt while we were on the bus to go to dinner β 3 things you are happy about, 2 things you want to improve on, 1 thing you still have questions about/looking forward to. I won't answer them here with regards to our competition, but if I remember, I might answer this at the end of this post.
School Life
I am EXHAUSTED. The workload for my classes are really picking up and I am truly knee deep into my major. The amount of caffeine I've been consuming over the last 2 weeks is actually horrible and I know my skin and physical health is suffering the consequences. It was a rather sick month as well, I fell sick 2.5 times and I think it's due to the exhaustion. It was funny the first time but not anymore since it keeps happening .
Honey earl grey tea which got me through sick timez
I still don't have a favourite class which kind of sucks to be honest. The readings for most of my classes are so lengthy and sometimes convoluted but that's what I get for being a social science major I guess. I am really grateful all my professors are really good, and that I am feeling like a student from my actual major so I take that as a win. Some small highlights from my academic life include going to the state courts for my law class, as well as having my weekly coffee shop study sessions where I am actually productive and do my readings and quizzes.
The main highlight of my academic life has been my science class I think. It has been pretty fun but also the major cause of my exhaustion, anxiety and stress. This week was meant to be my one week midterm break but I spent the entire week out in the forest catching and pinning insects. The physical labour and weather just made it a lot harder, and also the fact that I felt like my insects were not as good as my classmates and I wasn't as good as them...BUT anyway, that's another topic for another and I digress as usual.
I'm honestly amazed at how I kept being able to clock in at around 8:30AM each morning even though I was sleeping at 2-3AM each day. I was truly running on pure adrenaline and my daily dose of butter lattes, not to mention my insane day where I clocked into class to pin my insects from 8:30AM-9:45AM, then went to Malaysia for a day trip with my friends, went back into class immediately upon arriving back at school at 11:30PM to continue my work till 3:00AM, AND THEN clocked in again the next morning at 9:00AM to finish up my insect board. I am honestly still feeling the after effects today and I'm dreading the fact that real, proper classes start up again this week.
My blue dagger bee
My museum of failure for this month's academic endeavours is dropping one of my classes. I know some people would say I'm being dramatic for thinking this way but when you grow up and still live in a community where everyone is just insanely smart and over-achieving, this sort of thing makes you feel like a failure and it gnaws at you even though you initially do not really feel that way. However, I think in the long run for the rest of the semester, dropping this class will help. I also now realise taking 5 sociology classes at a mostly advanced level is not meant for the weak (me), and to be honest, I never really felt very inclined toward this class. It does feel ironic since it's on mental health which is what I'm meant to be going into in the future but I just didn't love the way the class was taught and I feel like I wasn't really learning anything which sucks. But whatever, at least my timetable will be slightly free-er now, and hopefully the extra pockets of time will actually let me do more work.
Beyond classes, my extracurricular life has been going a lot free-er. I recently handed over 2 of my clubs so I am now freed from the burden of hosting activities and making bookings. I am a little sad though, because I guess that means a small chapter of my life has closed but I did make a lot of good memories in those 2 clubs :") I guess this also means more bandwidth for me to focus on my remaining commitments, as well as my small business which is still very dead.
CNY <3
February also meant CNY!!! Nothing much happened but I got to stay home quite a bit due to the long holiday which was quite yummy. Since we have no extended family here, I spent ι€ε€, εδΈ & εδΊ at home chilling and kind of doing stuff I liked.
Watching vlogs & eating oranges
CNY was pretty restful, so restful that my body gave out and that was one of the days I was sick. But other than that, I got to eat a LOT of food and I'm pretty sure I gained a bunch of weight from this season but let's not dwell on that.
Small Business & Still Getting Back Into Art
I did my first booth of the year at my school's valentines-themed market. It was pretty fun, and I made a bunch of new sticker designs which seemed to sell pretty well! I also drew a BUNCH on procreate for our promotional materials and I think my digital art skills might be getting better. Big milestone also includes getting accepted to booth in June for a pretty famous market organisation, and it's been my dream to booth at the location of this market so I am quite proud of myself!
I also painted a bunch this month (excluding my job). I did a bit of Chinese ink painting for CNY and I was pleasantly surprised at my abilities. I also hosted a watercolour workshop for my visual arts club and I surprised myself again with how I was able to kind of render out a small landscape. It's definitely poor for the standard of someone who came from an art school, but I think it's still a win in my books.
I still am finding that middle ground for my love of art but February has been a really artsy month which has been pretty lovely. I need to draw a little more this March to prepare stock for my upcoming March, April and June markets (WOW!) so I hope to expand my designs and skills.
Life & Other Thoughts
I can't really think of much else that happened. The only other significant events in my life this month include taking that day trip out with my friends to Malaysia, continuing to push myself to build deeper connections with my friends, and watching one of my old friends perform for a dance showcase which felt very nostalgic and lovely <3 I haven't really had the time to go out alone and have some solo dates which I've been kind of craving a lot recently. I hope to go solo karaoke again soon, or go drawing at a cafe and then go (window) shopping after.
Credits to tumblr
I also stumbled across this post on tumblr and it struck a chord in me deeply. It really entwines deeply with my recent life crisis consisting of a lot of Thoughts toward my perspective on love, dating, romance and other related spheres.
Media Wrap Up
I'm committing to this, and honestly I think this month was pretty good? Not sure but let's dive in:
Music
This is always my favourite part of each month, even before my monthly wrap ups and these posts. As usual, I did my review on my media journal HERE !
TV
Following the S3 trailer, I re-watched the entire of Euphoria S2 in 2 days. That's the most proper TV I watched this month and it's kinda depressing (?) Idk, I know the show is problematic but it gave so many good and iconic pop culture lines that I still occasionally quote to this day, and the aesthetic and visuals are so so gorgeous. I gave a more in-depth thought process HERE.
I mainly watched a LOT of youtube this month. In particular, I went back down a very big Bestdressed rabbit hole and I miss Ashley so much :(( I actually wanted to make a separate post on my thoughts about youtube vlogs, her channel and how she impacted and changed my life but I never got round to doing it...but the tl;dr is that she was and is still so inspiring and comforting for me, and watching her videos now at the same age when she was filming and doing youtube really makes me think a lot about my life and what I am doing now (in a twisted positive way). Hopefully I get the capacity to do that post one day in March because I really have a lot of thoughts about it.
I also stumbled across Ryan Crouse and I loveeee his vlogs. I love a good chatty, fun youtuber and his vlogs are so interesting. They also make me excited for my move to Japan in September!! Other than that, I've just been occasionally watching the regular uploads from other youtubers I enjoy, as well as the new season of Rock the World, WHICH I am so depressed has ended. I haven't even caught up with the last 2 episodes which is when you know my life has been super insanely busy but I do love RTW and now I have to wait another whole year or maybe never for a new season T.T
Books (TW: EDs, food)
Lots of usual class readings BUT I also bought a new book!! I bought Tell Me How You Eat: Food, Power and the Will to Live by Amber Husain which has been pretty enjoyable. I've only read the introduction so far but given my tricky relationship and perspectives toward food, weight and eating since young, I think this book would be really insightful. Also because I don't have a lot of knowledge surrounding this topic so I am quite excited.
Misc...?
Other brief happenings that happened but don't really fit into the broad categories here include a lot of manifesting and praying Itzy comes here for their Tunnel Vision World Tour and I get to actually see them, eating a lot of good food as usual, and I think finally getting into the groove of my school routines. I didn't manage to post much this February unfortunately, but even if life hits me like a truck, I hope to at least consistently do these monthly wrap ups.
Strawberries for only $3!! I bought 2 boxes
End
Wow, this post is LONG. Even though I feel like February was a very long blur and I somehow can't really remember a lot of it, I still have so much to talk about. Maybe I should consider doing mid-month updates if I am able to because if anyone is actually reading this, this is a whole novel and I don't blame them if they can't make it to the end. Anyway, ending of this February wrap up with a gorgeous pink sky and rainbow I managed to catch! Here's to a successful and happy March <3
Good sky